Week 2 Friday 1:34pm- A Lonely. Jealousy.

Will it make a difference if i write it or not?  it make a difference to me cause sometime it come through me and i don’t want it to stay inside. if i take it out and put it on the computer screen and look on it i can  feel it. deal with it. this is when i feel i want to be a writer. mostly when things have to come out and when there is no one there to help me get it out. Well cause it not bothering them in the same way. I tired a facebook. you write something people like it or them comment or them share it. is not like talking looking on somebody and seeing what them think while you talking. Yea is like attention to your heart. i like that attention.  The computer screen not looking at me but i guess i looking at my own heart. i think, i write, i read it over, i cross it out. sometime the keyboard make a sound, sometime it quite. I alone but the things coming out.  Sometimes i write things in my book first and it feel the same way like the things coming out. When i write it on wordpress,  i opening  my heart? i just walking around in the digital world……. let it out more put it in history. create a category for me feelings today and put it in history maybe somebody will find it and wonder about it. Hopefully.

I feel slower today. Maybe is because a Friday. I used to look forward to Fridays.  Zanj Radio time. The coldness a Stony Hill and the warmness a di Hq. I miss peanuts on Friday and the blue lean back chair on the roof top where you can go and sit and just look on bush and sometimes if you look long enough you reach somewhere else outside a Stony hill outside a Jamaica. Anyways a so life go, sometimes you have go on foreign missions to look on life and discover a soca singer name Voice a sing bout how life good to him. Remind you about your own sweet life without soca.  So it go some times right? Yeah i feel is so it go sometimes.

This is something else that i did write today.

A Lonely. Jealousy.

….In Less than 30 mins from Valley to Charlottee Street he shared his life with the man next to him. A brethren.
Starting with something about Soca Monarch the Maxi driver warmed the front half of the a/c vehicle engaging the passenger. For him it seemed natural.They exchanged disappointments, hopes, regrets and plans for the future.

St.James to the Savannah
The Maxi driver talked about his love for his mother, his pride about his University exam grades. Time in prison had made him a better man

Round the Savannah
Man to Man. They both had crime in common. Brooklyn and Long Island. “I did real crime there bwoy real crime.”

Passing Port of Spain Hospital

I listened to everything, even what i could not understand. Since i came here i have had this question. What makes it so easy for a man to talk to a next man.

He was 60. The passenger made at least 6 trips to America. Something about wanting to
be a green card holder and his 6 uncles there. The Maxi driver had tried several times to cross the border ended up with 19 months in prison.
The Maxi Driver had 3 sisters, who gave up there green cards for government jobs in Trinidad. The passenger was hopeful. The Maxi driver regretful, he was just here
and Trinidad was stale.

Gas Station Charlotte Street
There was no exchange of names but a connection shared. ” it was nice talking to you brethren. A warm brotherly goodbye as the Maxi door opened at the final stop
i and three other women had been carried cold and lonely in the back. I came out last handed him my fare i didn’t say thanks didn’t look at him because i felt he didn’t care.

Crossing Charlotte street
Are women very lonely here?

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About afifa

dj. artist. creative director and co-founder of the SO((U))L HQ and DI Institute for Social Leadership. I make ritual spaces.

One comment

  1. Pingback: Give up on Love. the second part | 1981

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